Lori Gottlieb is a psychotherapist and New York Times best-selling author of “Maybe You Should Talk To Someone,” which has sold over a million copies and is currently being adapted as a television series. And I absolutely loved recording this episode with her. In addition to her clinical practice, she’s a cohost of the popular “Dear Therapists,” podcast produced by Katie Couric, and she writes the Atlantic’s weekly, “Dear Therapists,” column. She is a very much sought-after expert and has an amazing TED Talk, which I will link in the show notes. Highly recommend listening to it.
This was an awesome episode and we go into why she was supposed to write a book about happiness, but that made her depressed and what she wrote instead. She talks about what led her to therapy herself as a therapist and the reason she speaks from a perspective of a card-carrying member of the human race and not just as a therapist. She shares examples of stories that we hold onto that actually make us more miserable and why we are unrealistic narrators of our own lives, how men and women communicate differently in therapy, and how to bridge the gap and how we treat emotional pain differently than physical pain and why this is a problem.
I will let her work speak for itself, but so much good information in this episode. I know that you will enjoy it. So without any more wait, let’s join Lori Gottlieb.
Episode Highlights With Lori Gottlieb
- Why she was supposed to be writing a book about happiness but it made her depressed and what she wrote instead
- What led her to therapy as a therapist
- The reason she speaks from a perspective of a “card carrying member of the human race” and not just a therapist
- Examples of stories we hold onto that actually make us more miserable and why we are unrealistic narrators of our own story
- “Before diagnosing someone with depression, make sure they aren’t surrounded by assholes”
- How men and women communicate differently in therapy and how to bridge the gap
- Ways to help your partner feel safe in communicating in a relationship
- How we treat emotional pain differently than physical pain and why this is a problem
- Why we often have trouble changing even though we know it’s good for us
- The stages of change and why these are important to know
- Why we seek out repeat situations that we had in childhood with the idea that now as adults we will win and this time it will work out. And how to repattern this
- Why “we marry our unfinished business” and what to do about it
- The inadvertent prisons we place ourselves in that are based on our own stories and how to get out of them
- One thing that is hardest for people to do right in relationships
- Her very valuable advice for parents after working with thousands of patients
- Three words that can change your relationship with your children
- The accidental criticism we give to our kids that stays with them into adulthood
- Misconceptions about therapy that are hurting people and how to get past them
- The one concrete thing we can all do right now to improve our emotional well being
- Is it kind, is it true, is it useful?
Resources We Mention
- Her TED Talk
- Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed by Lori Gottlieb
- Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: The Workbook: A Toolkit for Editing Your Story and Changing Your Life by Lori Gottlieb
- Dear Therapist Podcast
- Olive, Again: A Novel by Elizabeth Strout
More From Wellness Mama
- 470: Amy Emerson of MAPS on the Future of Psychedelic Assisted Therapy & Research
- 513: Tanner Wallace on Childhood Trauma, Attachment Wounds, and How to Heal
- 491: Peter Crone on Freedom From the Prisons of the Subconscious Mind
- 415: Reversing Limiting Beliefs Such As “I Am Not Enough” With Marisa Peer
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