I’m here with Julie Lythcott-Haims, who is the author of The New York Times best-selling book How to Raise an Adult. It’s one of my favorite books and I think her message is incredibly, incredibly important.
I’m so excited to have her on today to share her perspective because Julie is a mom (and also a former corporate lawyer) with a very unique perspective on parenting. She walks us through some common pitfalls in modern parenting that may actually make life harder for our kids later in life. This perspective is more important than ever, I think, in this intense time when so many of us are navigating new dynamics in parenting, school, and work.
Take a listen, and let me know if you agree that this is one of the best podcasts we’ve ever recorded!
Episode Highlights: How to Raise an Adult
- Some common pitfalls of modern parenting
- The things we do thinking they help our kids (but that actually hurt them)
- A strong case for less structure in parenting
- Why authoritative vs authoritarian parenting matters so much
- The problems with praise and how to avoid the pitfalls
- What happens when we over-parent and “hover”
- Why the constant surveillance of children is not normal and shouldn’t become the norm
- The reason it is more safe in today’s world, even though we often don’t think it is
- A strong reason to turn off the news
- The four steps of teaching a child to do things on their own
- Why self-agency and independence is so important for kids (and how we crush it without realizing it)
- The problems with reminding and helping too much
- The self-esteem paradox: how building up our kids can leave them empty
- And more!
Resources We Mention
- Julie Lythcott-Haims Website | Instagram
- How to Raise an Adult
- Pre-order: Your Turn: How to Be an Adult
- Stealth Parenting Essay
- The Atlantic: Are Helicopter Parents Ruining a Generation?
- The Atlantic: The Anxious Child, and the Crisis of Modern Parenting
- Good Woman by Lucille Clifton
- The Gift of Failure by Jessica Lahey
More From Wellness Mama
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- 353: A Chat With My Husband: Healthy Living, Working Together, Parenting & Random Things in the Name of Health
- 344: Get Your Kids to Listen Without Nagging, Yelling, or Losing Control With Amy From Positive Parenting Solutions
- 197: The Opposite of Being Spoiled: Raising Financially Responsible Kids With Ron Lieber
- My Parenting Rule to Foster Independence (& Save My Sanity)
- Why We Are Creating a Business Incubator for Our Kids (And How)
- Overprotected Childhood: How Keeping Kids Safe Is Actually Harming Them
Do you agree or disagree with Julie’s parenting advice? What would you add? Please drop a comment below or leave a review on iTunes to let us know. We value knowing what you think and this helps other moms find the podcast as well.
Thanks to Our Sponsors
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This episode is brought to you by Joovv Red Light Therapy that I have talked about for a really long time, and that is a regular part of my daily routine. I wanted to make sure to talk a little bit more about them today. You’ve heard me talk about red light therapy before because it is part of my daily routine. I feel like this is an extremely effective health modality. And it’s something that I make a priority all of the time. It’s been wonderful for my skin and my thyroid, also my energy levels. And I’ve written on my blog quite a bit about the many health benefits of red light therapy. I found more and more in the research that light is such an essential part of health. We think about nutrition and sleep, and a lot of the other aspects of health, but we often forget just how drastically important light is to our health. And red light therapy is one of the important types of light that we often don’t get enough of. Many of us are exposed to all kinds of artificial blue lights in our homes, but we don’t get enough of spectrums like red light and like all of the spectrums that come from the sun every day. And the way that I remedy this is totally inexpensive way of spending time outside every morning in the natural sunlight, and also using red light therapy daily. Anyone who’s dabbled in red light therapy has probably heard of Joovv because they are the leading brand. They have pioneered this technology, and it’s the light that I’ve had in my home for many years. Joovv is just now launching their next generation of devices and they made upgrades to what was already incredible red light therapy systems. Their new devices are sleeker, up to 25% lighter, and with all the same power and intensity that we’ve come to expect from them. But with their new intensified version, you can stand as much as three times further away and still get the recommended dose. They’ve also upgraded the setup so it’s very quick and easy to mount, and set up, and can fit in just about any space depending on what size you need. And they have a cool new feature like recovery plus mode, which uses pulsing technology to give yourself an extra boost to recover from a tough workout or a tough day with the family. Also, as a busy mom, I need all the sleep I can get. And I find that using a red light device at night helps to wind me down from the day. But now they have something called Ambient Mode for calming lower intensity light at night, which I mentioned avoiding blue light at night to help your body and your natural circadian rhythms. And adding in soothing spectrums of red light can also be really, really helpful. So, definitely check it out. Exciting news, for a limited time, Joovv is going to hook you up with an exclusive discount on your first order, and you can find out all the details by going to joovv.com/wellnessmama and using my code Wellnessmama on your qualifying order.