I’m back again with my good friend and modern day philosopher Ryan Holiday. Last time Ryan was on the podcast we discusses stoicism for modern life, but today we delve even deeper into how we can use the principles in our parenting. Ryan is one of the world’s bestselling living philosophers and his books have been translated into over 40 languages and sold millions of copies.
I have quite a few of his books on my bookshelf at home! Ryan speaks specifically to dads, but also to all parents in his new book, The Daily Dad. He also has a daily email by the same name that offers short doses of encouragement, advice, and knowledge for parents.
And in today’s discussion, we go over why our kids misbehaving and pushing boundaries can be a good thing, plus how to handle that as a parent. We talk about the importance of modeling as parents, especially when it comes to communicating our values. We talk about identifying those values, and how to make sure we’re staying on track with our goals. According to Ryan, we can measure our values by the questions we ask, what we monitor, and what we give feedback on.
There are a lot of practical applications in today’s episode for both moms and dads. I’m sure you’ll enjoy our conversation as much as I did!
Episode Highlights With Ryan
- How he shifted from just talking about stoicism to bringing this into parenting
- The imbalance in the domestic load that often exists between moms and dads and what he views as paths forward to help balance this
- Why there aren’t a lot of good parenting books, especially for Dad
- Modern times expect much more of parents and how this has shifted parenting
- Why it might be a good thing when kids misbehave or push boundaries and how to handle this in a positive way
- How to shift from seeing our kid’s behavior as an indictment of who we are but a reflection of the environment we’ve created for them
- We don’t really control our kids and even if we can, it isn’t a good idea, so what to do instead
- The importance of modeling in parenting and especially in communicating values
- Why parents need to get serious about understanding what our values actually are when it comes to our children
- The things we can get caught up in thinking are important now with our kids that won’t be important at all in 20 years
- Balancing protecting our kids with helping them learn to be autonomous
- Key takeaways from his book that he hopes to leave listeners and readers with
- Making parenting decisions with the long term goals in mind
- Parenting advice: “It is wrong to think of death as something in the future, something that we are moving toward. No, death is all around you. All the time that passes belongs to death”
Resources We Mention
- The Daily Dad: 366 Meditations on Parenting, Love, and Raising Great Kids by Ryan Holiday
- The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday
- The Obstacle is the Way by Ryan Holiday
- Ryan Holiday The Stoic Virtues Series 2 Books Set
- The daily dad email signup link
- Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson PsyD
- The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives by William Stixrud PhD and Ned Johnson
More From Wellness Mama
- 289: Stoic Wisdom for Modern Life and Parenting With Ryan Holiday
- 579: My First Principles Parenting Approach and What Works for Me
- 648: The Parenting Map to Consciously Create the Ultimate Parent-Child Relationship With Dr. Shefali
- 617: How to Become the Conscious Parent You Never Had With Bryana of Conscious Mommy
- 544: Amy McCready on 5 Hard Truths About Parenting (& Steps to a Calmer Home Life)
- 656: Reasons to Let Our Kids Be Free Range Kids With Lenore Skenazy
- 268: Tildet Varon on Positive Parenting & Effective Family Communication
- My Parenting Rule to Foster Independence (& Save My Sanity)
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