
This episode is one I’ve been looking forward to for a while! I’m here with Bryana of Conscious Mommy, a licensed marriage and family therapist, an infant family early childhood mental health specialist, a perinatal mental health specialist, and a certified conscious parenting coach. She also teaches parents to become the conscious parent they never had over at Conscious Mommy.
And today’s focus is all about conscious parenting and what that really means. Bryana shares so many practical parenting tips today from managing tantrums, to having a smooth bedtime, to how to get your kids to listen – without yelling.
I’ve followed Bryana’s work for a while and her approach to parenting has really resonated with me. A lot of you may be familiar with the gentle parenting movement, but this is different. Bryana defines it as self-aware parenting, and the idea is to take a deep look at ourselves. We discuss how this is different than permissive parenting (letting the child do whatever they want) and how it can help us have an even deeper relationship with our kids. As a mom of teenagers, being able to communicate and connect with my kids when they were younger has really helped set the stage for a strong relationship now.
We also talk about boundaries, what they really are, how to set them, and when they’re appropriate. There are lots of really good tips to unpack in today’s episode and I hope you’ll join me and listen in as I talk with Bryana of Conscious Mommy!
Episode Highlights With Bryana
- What makes conscious parenting different from other approaches
- How focusing on ourselves and our own emotional reactions and behaviors as parents is a more effective long term approach and is relationship first
- Focusing on “how am I managing myself” as a marker of effective parenting
- The magic of taking a pause during heated emotional encounters with our kids
- How to understand what is getting in the way of being able to model these behaviors for our kids
- What to do when “my kids will only listen to me if I am screaming”
- Love withdrawal – what it is and why it is so painful to children, and how to break the pattern
- The importance of saying sorry to our kids when we mess up without needing to defend our behavior
- What a real apology and repair look like
- Why conscious parenting isn’t just permissive parenting or falsely happy parenting
- No parent has the intention to hurt their child but the impact is outside our control and how to understand this dynamic
- How our relationship with our kids sets the stage for how they will exist in relationships for the rest of their lives
- What boundaries are and how to effectively communicate them
- Why if boundaries don’t come from a place of kindness, they are actually about control
- Phrases like “I can’t let you” and “show me another way” for boundaries with young children
- Why children need to understand the alternative when we put limits on their behavior
- When we withdraw love, children will default to loving and trusting their parent even at the expense of self-love and self-trust
- Trust is the first psychosocial milestone in a baby or toddler
- Parenting is the opportunity to re-parent and become the parent you never had
- “I am not raising you to be the person I want or expect you to be… I am raising you to be who you are”
- What it means to be a cycle breaker in our parenting
- Specific tips for bedtime struggles and reframing what this experience is like for kids
- Strategies for tantrums that actually work – and how to focus on actually being with the child so they learn this internal skill
- Approaching parenting struggles with curiosity instead of being critical
Resources We Mention
- Conscious Mommy – Website
- Consciously Managing Meltdowns – Course
- Conscious Mommy – Instagram
- The Giver by Lois Lowry
- Untamed by Glennon Doyle
- The Invisible String by Patrice Karst
- Mr. Rogers Bedtime album
More From Wellness Mama
- 579: My First Principles Parenting Approach and What Works for Me
- 544: Amy McCready on 5 Hard Truths About Parenting (& Steps to a Calmer Home Life)
- 344: Get Your Kids to Listen Without Nagging, Yelling, or Losing Control With Amy From Positive Parenting Solutions
- 535: Dr. Margaret Paul on How to Learn to Love Yourself, Inner Bonding and Better Parenting
- 471: Dr. Jen Forristal on Umbrella Parenting and Raising Children With Strong Coping Skills
- 390: How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kids for Success With Julie Lythcott-Haims
- 545: Mariah Sage on Enjoying Parenting and Releasing Mom Guilt Through Simple Shifts
- 057: Katie Kimball on Natural Parenting Tips
- My Parenting Rule to Foster Independence (& Save My Sanity)
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