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Child: Welcome to my Mommy’s podcast.
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Hello, and welcome to the Wellness Mama podcast. I’m Katie from wellnessmama.com. And this episode talks all about how to listen to our subconscious mind to maximize our success. And I’m here with Rori Montali, who has over 20 years of experience and is a world-renowned intimacy expert, business connector, physical and emotional healer with a dynamic, unique approach that captivates and transforms individuals, couples, and even large audiences. She uses her intuitive skills, fosters deep connection and personal growth, and helps people transform in whatever area they’re stuck. And in this particular episode, we talk about craniosacral therapy, somatic emotional release, the power of tuning into our subconscious mind and how to do it, and so much more. She gives some practical examples of how to do this in an easy daily practice, and some tips for getting unstuck when you feel that happen. So let’s join Rori. Rori, welcome. Thanks so much for being here.
Rori: Such an honor to be with you. Well, it’s like I’m in your living room right now.
Katie: Exactly. And we are in real life friends, which makes this conversation extra fun. And I think it’s a great jumping in point for a conversation today. It’s worth explaining that I got to meet you at a women’s conference last year, and you were there being of service doing craniosacral on people, which was a new experience for me. And I had quite a kind of profound shift during that, which led to us having a lot of wonderful heart to heart conversations and delving into some things related to the subconscious, which is what I’m excited to talk about with you today. And how we can even learn to do that. So to start off, maybe for people who haven’t heard the term or gotten to experience it, can you explain what craniosacral even is?
Rori: Sure. Let’s just keep it simple for people to understand that it stems from the DO in medical school versus an MD. So when we, you can choose a medical school, if you want to go to a holistic medicine as a doctor, or you want to go to MD where you’re doing a lot more pushing prescriptions, but they both, so craniosacral is, I like to give a little bit of the history so people can really grasp and understand that it was a DO in surgery with a spinal surgeon. And the DO was supposed to hold the spatula while they were doing surgery and felt like he was inadequate. He wasn’t able to hold the spatula for the reason that it was vibrating the derma matter in the whole entire spine from the neck to the coccyx. And what happened was it stemmed cranial sacral as it has its own rhythm and vibration. We have a cardiac rhythm. You can hear that. Or respiratory. It’s a rhythm and it’s something that we know as an MD. But as a DO, there’s the cranial rhythm. So we can feel that that’s vibrating at all times what we treat.
So we’re neutral as practitioners. We go in, we don’t look at all the things that are listed of all your problems and pain and suffering. We actually learn how to find when the cranial rhythm is on and off. And then we learn basically where if you have a sheet on your bed and there’s some little wrinkles, sometimes you try to get them out to like, make it, like, a flat, right? So those are called restrictions in your body. And we can actually arc by actually doing 55 protocols to see where those restrictions are, craniosacral, and then treat what we find, not what you tell me, not what I’m offering. Craniosacral is a light touch of removing connective tissue, actually moving bones and tissue very lightly, like five grams of pressure, holding a nickel. And it’s magnificently healed Rori from birth, what I had defected from forceps. So if any moms are out there who had children that had, you know, a baby that was maybe bridged or they had to use a forceps back 50 years ago, my mom was sleeping and I have frontal lobe issues. So the reason for my lifelong work of craniosacral from birth to work with a baby all the way up until you die is so important to make sure the brain is completely inflection and extension and working through moving things that are restricted. So craniosacral, it’s just a light touch manipulating like tissues to remove, you know, to help people heal. You want me to read it from like where my craniosacral is?
Katie: No, that was perfect. And it was so cool. Yeah, I feel like I heard an explanation, but until I experienced it, I didn’t really understand how profoundly impactful it could be. And to have such massive feeling shifts from just that really gentle touch, like you talked about, which I’ve talked about before, kind of my own journey and how much our body can sort of hold things. And that was a big part of my story. And so it makes sense to me now that I understand it and got to experience it. But I found that so fascinating to get to learn from you.
And that led to us talking about something else that I think is really important, and especially for the moms listening, which is the power of the subconscious mind and how to even begin to listen to it. Because as the name suggests, it’s often below what we consciously perceive. But I find just like in the body is able to store so much wisdom, memory, experience, trauma, all the things, the subconscious mind is vastly full of that as well. And so I love when you started explaining the power of the subconscious mind and your process for teaching people how to start to tune into that. So as an overview, can you give us a little bit of a primer on the power of the subconscious mind and what we can learn when we start to be in touch with it?
Rori: Sure. So craniosacral is the family of craniosacral. And then when someone comes to a place where they don’t have the pain and they don’t have the vision, it’s called somatic emotional release. And that is where we stem the subconscious. So to get to the subconscious, so conscious mind is we’re talking, we think we want to go get a water. We’re just on autopilot of the things we do. Subconscious is a place where is all knowing. It’s like the place that has all the right answers. There’s no wrong. It knows what supplement you need. It knows if it’s the right thing for you to be in that relationship. It knows if this is the right podcast to be on or the right person to be with. So the three-part process of subconscious is always to center your nervous system and to actually breathe in order to get to a still point, which is actually a calm space where you feel everything’s flowing higher. Your conscious mind is a lot higher than it is when you’re stressed. So the question, with the subconscious is how do we actually listen to it? Yes?
Katie: Exactly. Yeah. Because I feel like often so much is going on there, but we’re not aware of it.
Rori: We’re not aware. So let’s try the first phase. First phase is it’s possible for anyone, even if you don’t have the intuition to actually tap in at all times and always, no matter what, to be able to be in the subconscious, coming from a place of empowerment. First thing is breath. We all have it. We’re doing it without even knowing it. We’re breathing together, Miss Katie. So, the first thing is breath. So that would be the first thing.
And the second thing is when you’re in the breath of listening to the subconscious, I have people, entrepreneurs trying to go public. I have moms that are trying to like figure out how to help their artistic child or possibly figuring out like when they’re so young and they don’t know why they’re crying and they tried as a new mom, X, Y, Z, and they don’t know. And they don’t want to keep running to doctors because doctors don’t know all the time. And then it’s this place of motherhood is not enjoying the most amazing thing that they’ve always dreamed of having at home.
So we’re not knowing is you can also go to the subconscious and figuring out, am I asking the right questions to my little one? Am I actually calm enough to listen to my own inner self so I could actually get the help I need right in that moment? First thing is breath. So we breathe in four deep breaths. We hold for four breaths. And then we exhale through the mouth very exaggerated. And then when I get them about ten times to really be in that space, I have them close their eyes and the first thing that they see is the second phase that I have them do. It could be a thought. It could be a color. It could be a shape. It could be an image. And I allow them to say, that’s the thing we’re going to work with today. Okay, so then they, you know, so don’t rationalize after the fact that you breathe, you close your eyes, and you see what you see, okay?
And then we dialogue with whatever we see, and that’s the third part of the process of the subconscious, okay? What I’m doing is about listening to the subconscious. It’s like the best thing to do with someone who has a lot of ADD, really doesn’t trust their intuition. And really doesn’t know this kind of work, I always say, let’s create. Let’s create a question that’s heavy on your heart and you want to work with. Okay. So, they come with, then they go, oh, I have so many things. I go, okay, well, then let’s breathe. And then I go, well, you have four areas that you can work with today. So I help them put a nice circle around a piece of paper. I go, I do a little walking meditation. And I say, okay, do you want to work on your limiting beliefs? Do you want to work on your financials? Do you want to work on your spiritual? Or do you want to work on the relationships? Because we can always work on multiple things. Life is fast.
So I bring them into a breath work. I bring them into a guided meditation. And then I say, which image do you want to work with? They go, okay, I want to work with relationships. Great. So now stay and ask a question to me. What is it that you would like to learn about your subconscious? What’s heavy on your mind? And what is it that’s been bothering you that you don’t get the right answers? And you’re asking everyone. Okay, I want to work on if it’s the right for my daughter to go to, you know, away with their friends at this younger age. Let’s just say that’s a heaviness on the heart because they feel they’re too young to go away without parent vision or something they just feel is heavy on their heart. Okay.
So they come with the question of what’s heavy and then they can’t figure out the decision to make. Does that make sense? So they do a breath work, four breaths in. They’re thinking of their question and letting go with the breath out. Should my daughter go away on this trip without me? Should I allow this and not hold so tightly? I don’t know. I’m confused. Breathe in. Hold the breath. Exhale. You’re just now letting go as I’m not thinking about the question, but it’s in your subconscious of wanting an answer, but not to fight it. And then the last breath by the 10th one, they’re completely in a really blissful state. And then I might say, tell me what’s going on right now. And they’ll be like, oh, I see a flag. Okay, tell me what the flag is saying to you. The flag is now saying to me, it’s waving. What do you want to say to the flag? Oh, tell me more.
So what we do is breathe. We figure out a question in an area that is heavy on someone’s heart and wants to know how to tap in to listen. And then whatever shows up is the image to work with. The flag just showed me a flag, right? So I would dialogue with the flag back and forth. And I would have this place where I would have a dialogue that would feel really peaceful to. So I kind of did this experience now that you, I’m not, you know, with the flag and now it should my child go. And I made up this whole story. And what it did, because I do it fast, was this moment where I saw myself waving goodbye and to flow like the flag flows. And stop being not fluidity and not so rigid. So that’s where I got peace to say, be like the flag and flow. Allow the children to flow. Allow them to go and have their purpose and love and guidance and not be so, you know, afraid with my own doubt and fears. So that’s the process I just did, which was a makeup experience, as if I made believe I was the mom having that experience that needed to know. Now that I saw the image, I felt like peace. And then I can move forward. And that’s how you listen by an image or a category.
Katie: I love that. I think that’s a very relevant example because many moms listening, like I have teenagers probably had an experience where they’re like, is my kid ready for this? I don’t know. And what struck me also, and what you just did in that example is the importance of breath, like you mentioned, and also of just making room for stillness and quiet and allowing things to come up. It seems like this is a potentially more difficult task in the modern world where we have demands on our time and attention constantly, but it seems like so much is found in that stillness. Do you ever have people who have a hard time learning to listen or to tune in? Or if you ask them, what do you see? Or what do you hear? They don’t know, or they’re like, I don’t see anything. I don’t hear anything. And what do you tell those people?
Rori: That’s like 90% of my people. And it’s amazing. So what works is I ask them, do you have an imagination? And if it was your imagination, what would you see? And then they go, oh, I would see. And then I have a new image to show you, like the loudspeaker that’s screaming across the field when someone’s, you know, those microphone things. I go, okay, well, let’s use that as the image. Because they had the imagination. So it always works. I’ve 26 years doing this work. Do you have an imagination? Percent of people are going to say yes, they kind of have imagination.
You’ll get the one or two percent that are like, no, I don’t see anything. I’m black. That’s called resistance. That’s totally fine. We stay in the resistance and we fight whatever is showing up in the moment. And that’s real to them. Black, can’t see anything. Can’t, you know, I’m completely wiped out, completely not in touch with the self and completely, that’s a whole smaller category of people. And there’s a process to be in resistance as well as another layer of the subconscious to listen.
You don’t need to meditate all day long now at the top of a mountain and go, oh, my kids are now in college. Now I can breathe and think. Think in the moment that you can hear all the time, but it does require a little work. And the thing is, no one wants to work, but it’s the thing that works the most. Because it’s coming from self. It’s not coming from your grandmother, your mother, your best friend, the coach, the principal, the doctor. It’s saying, I want to know firsthand to listen. I’m going to ask my questions. I’m going to be okay with not fighting to get the answers. That’s why you have people like myself and coaches and practitioners to go for the bigger things in life. But the little things, should I peanut butter and jelly? The doctor said no sugar. Like little things are tangibly okay if you feel good about it. And you feel, yes, you won’t have doubt and fear, and you’ll give the peanut butter sandwich with joy. And not guilt or worry. And that child will actually receive the peanut butter sandwich versus the fear that you’re going to do it anyway. So anyway, I’m getting deep on this.
Katie: Well, I love that. And I think you brought up a really important point. And last year at one point, I had someone at an event who was doing TikTok videos come up and want to film a video. And the question he asked me was, what are the three worst things we can put in the human body? And I think he wanted me to say like glyphosate and sugar or whatever, something would have been the typical answer. And my response was fear, guilt, and shame, because then no matter how good the thing you’re putting in your body is, your body’s not going to integrate it well, because you are in fear, guilt, and shame, or your kid is in fear, guilt, and shame. So that wasn’t the answer he’s looking for. But I feel like you just touched on that as well of like, if we are able to release those emotions, we make so much more space for grace, ease, and joy or bliss. And I know that gets into the realm of the esoteric a little bit. But I’ve seen in my own life, how profoundly these shifts you’re talking about can impact not just our mental health and our emotions, but also our physical health responds to our inner state as well. And I know you’ve helped lots of people with that duality. And helping them improve in both or all three areas as well.
Rori: I actually work more with the parents than the kids. The kids get me sometimes and they do some little drawings on the subconscious and their fevers break. But the heartache that I have to deal with is that the child saying that they’re worried about their mom crying or the mom not leaving them be. And they’re smarter, greater, and, you know, they have their own soul. They have their own way of wanting to come through this life. And that’s the part that I have more of the moms split their sessions together. They have the child on the thing. And they’re like, I think I need this. I need to get help here. Because they get better, the moms I work with, and then the babies and their teenagers get better. There’s no, oh, they’re 13 or, oh, they’re two or they’re having these stages. They’re like staying connected with this work where those stages of the norm that, say, happen between moms and teenagers and moms and two-year-olds. You know, I’m noticing that they are working today. The work is being done for a lot with moms. And when they let go and they’re doing it, that child is doing better in school. They’re not being so awkward with the bullying, like the things that happen in schools, and they’re going, oh, mom is backing off. Or mom is now in a, they can see, you know, that there’s a shift.
Now, when the mom shifts, which is brilliant, I then work on the teenagers to actually work on their belief systems that mom is now sober or mom is now doing something different. Okay. Because it’s one thing to say, okay, let’s work on mom. But it was a lot of damage sometimes in the relationship of what they have noticed. So they have to be worked on to what their limiting beliefs are, not what I’m telling them, what’s showing up on the table or on Zoom or, you know, whatever. So then once they see that something is changing, but they always say that she’ll never change. Like one of those limiting beliefs, yeah, she’s changing, but I don’t believe it’s going to last. Then they work on the limiting beliefs. And then for some reason, I’m noticing the diseases and the things that are really profoundly, maybe like autism, all these major concerns, I’m noticing that they’re getting better when the relationship is better with mom or dad stuff. That’s what’s going on.
Katie: That makes sense because it seems like that would be obviously a huge underlying stress for them. And to your point, that’s something I’ve said enough on here that people might be tired of hearing it, but I always repeat it when given the chance, which is each of our kids are their own infinite autonomous being. They’re not autonomous beings in process. They’re not loading into being infinite autonomous beings. They already are from the very beginning. We’re just helping guide them in that journey. And I’ve heard you say before that you already have all the answers within yourself, which to me means that’s also true for our children. From the moment we have them, they also have those answers within themselves. And so, and you know, you hear a lot of the cliches about the best thing we can do for our kids is to work on ourselves. But I think there’s relevance to that and the things you’re talking about, mom set the nervous system tone for the house often. So if mom does that work and the mom finds more calm and more peace, that of course is going to ripple into the children who she’s interacting with all the time.
Rori: The children are so quick. I had a four-year-old. We had an hour session. We were booked. 22 minutes, done. Fever broke. Wrote his little thing. Had a dialogue with it. Shared his stuff. It’s amazing how fast the children could, you know, it’s the adults that we have to work. There’s a lot of layers with them. But this work is profound. I mean, I would never in a million years. I’ve done everything you can imagine I was a child that was disabled from a very young age, from birth, from the forceps and put on Ritalin at a very young age, six years old, trauma against things other than just certain things.
And I ran around like a chicken without a head. It’s like, fix me, fix me. It’s part of my book. Fix me, fix me. Everything has to fix me out here. And then it was that shift that I have the answers within. And I can trust I’m being taken care of. And I can trust my intuition by breathing. By asking. And then using what is coming through as my sub-personality. They’re not other dinties or woo-woo things out there. It’s all within. There’s sub-personalities. There’s the angry person, then there’s the nice person, then there’s the teacher person, right? And then it’s the healer person. And then it’s the mom person. So we have these characters that are within ourselves. And you just know, when you’re dialoguing, it’s within self that all the answers are there.
And I teach the teachers now and the doctors because they’re like, I’m so not helping my patients anymore. I go, okay, well, you’re not responsible, number one. You’re responsible to tune into your own self, know your material, and then let it go, right?
What fascinates you, Katie, about the, I mean, I don’t want to bring up your stuff, but you did have, you know, an experience, you know, where, you know, that was something profound for you. And it was basically we didn’t tap into it yet, nor do we address it. But remember the moment where I was on your feet and I was doing like 55, I was evaluating you. And I said, oh, I would love to work in this area. That’s it. And then we had a moment where we said, yes, it wasn’t the right time. It was right. And we will come back to it. So that’s where it is. And then you said, oh, that’s very significant to me. Okay.
So that’s what arcing is. And that’s what is. It shows in the DNA, in the cell, everything. Every emotion and every pain. It removes out of the DNA when you tap in at out of the resistance, out of the hidden gem of what could it be? What is the answer? What is my pattern? What is my destructive cycle? What if I keep living in the same space and not going into the right direction. Why am I getting the same guy? Weird, right? So I mean, there must be single women out there, too, that have those kind of patterns. You know, it’s like it doesn’t just help with the children. It helps with, you know.
This work helps CFOs going public when they’re in the boardroom with me and they’re on about to do this thing behind me, the whiteboard, right? So they sit around, the CFO, CEO, and the vice president, and they go, okay, Ro, what do you got here? Because we’re ready for it. Let’s breathe. What he got us, Ro, because we really want to go public, but we don’t want to bring what we have to our team until we, basically, the CFO, the one that’s going public, really wants the work because it’s his investment. It’s his money. So then they do this breathing. They do the same exact listen to the subconscious to maximize success. They see what they have. They dialogue with it. And then each person does that. And then in the boardroom, they all write out what the outcome was, what they experienced. And then they put everything that they had just went into the subconscious to the board. And then when they have the whole team, they’re so crystal clear to move forward. And then they can hear everyone else’s opinions, but they’re pretty much ready to go. I can’t get enough to say how much it’s important to really having this conversation on the subconscious and get really clear and no doubt and fear, no anxiety. No sleepless nights, no more menopause.
Katie: I bet that seems encouraging to many people listening as well. And like you mentioned, I’ve talked a little bit before about how I’m on a journey with rediscovering my voice. And that was the area that showed up for me in the work. And that growing up with parents who are hard of hearing, I didn’t have a lot of audio feedback in my early childhood. And so I’ve had to sort of learn how to use my voice as a tool in life because it wasn’t one of those early experiences like it is for many people.
But you mentioned your book as well, which I’ll, of course, link to in the show notes, which I believe is called No More Band-Aids. And it’s all about that self-healing, which I love because people are probably also tired of me saying on here that we are each our own primary healthcare provider and that for our kids and we’re moms. And I know many moms who are so dialed in and awesome on the nutrition side and they are well-versed in supplements, and they get sunlight and they do all these things. But this inner experience we’re talking about and working with the subconscious is another huge piece of that. And I feel like that is a piece that’s tougher to dial in for a lot of people. And I know that you have resources more on this than we can cover in a podcast episode. So I will link to your book, but I believe you also mentioned a free gift for the audience that helps them go deeper and understand a lot of these pieces you’ve been talking about. Can you explain that as well?
Rori: Okay, so yeah, that was for the intimacy and connection. It’s a Desire of Intimacy. So they will be able to go on rorimontali.com, receive a gift. And it will basically, they opt in, they can see a summary of like how desire of intimacy, like it’s a desire of intimacy. It doesn’t mean you’re having intimacy like with your lover. It means different categories, desire for your coworker, desire to be with your friends and family, desire to be in four different categories. So the desire of intimacy is a free gift because it’s one of the pathways out of the 13 that I give away so people can step into desire. Okay, never goal oriented, always desire and dreams. And that’s it. And then they get a little summary of a lesson on the house. And then they click in and they’ll have three videos of activities to actually do with your co-worker, one with your lover, one with yourself, things like that. So they can practice it. It’s experiential.
Katie: Amazing. Well, I’ll make sure that’s linked as well. And I’m glad. Go ahead.
Rori: I have one little, I have one little snippet because people are not going to be able to do what we just did online. So what I wanted to do is one simple way where they can tap into their intuition. It’s if you don’t mind, it takes 30 seconds. So I’m going to hold like, let’s say, let’s, I’ve bought something as an example. Let’s say these are baby wipes, right? And there’s so much on the market and they’re researching, but they don’t really know if it’s the right thing for their baby, right? So you hold it up here and it’s so simple. If you hold up, you ask the question, would this be, and you hold your baby’s hand or whatever, is this in the greatest good for me to use this product on my baby, right? You can do all the research, but the body knows, and you’re part of the body with the baby, right? And if it moves forward, it means like yes, and if it moves back, it means no. Very simple way. Because I do it every day on a supplement or something new I want to drink. Something new today was this kombucha. And I never tried it before. I wanted to not alter my brain. And I asked my body and it said yes. So I’m just showing a very small tool. I thought maybe it’s a little overwhelming for people to tap in and breathe and dialogue and then do all that without me. So just a simple move forward, the body saying yes, back means the body saying no.
Katie: I love that. That one is super simple. And I’ll link to everything we mentioned in the show notes. And I would guess as moms, especially learn this process with you, this is also probably very helpful to use with our kids to help them talk through things and get in touch with their subconscious. And how amazing would it be had we all learned all these things that we get to learn as adults at a younger age, but we get to give them to our kids. So I’ll make sure everybody can find all of your resources in the show notes.
And you guys, please stay tuned for our next episode, which we’ll get to go deeper on the intimacy and connection side. And we’ll get to explain some of those things as well. But Rori, always a joy to chat with you. I love that we got to record it this time. Thank you so much for being here and for your time. And thank you for listening. I hope that you will join me again on the next episode of the Wellness Mama podcast.
If you’re enjoying these interviews, would you please take two minutes to leave a rating or review on iTunes for me? Doing this helps more people to find the podcast, which means even more moms and families could benefit from the information. I really appreciate your time, and thanks as always for listening.
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