Combine all the ingredients for the oil phase into the glass bowl.
Fill a saucepan half full with water, and place the glass bowl on top to make a double boiler. Heat over high heat, stirring the ingredients occasionally until completely melted.
While the oil-soluble ingredients are on the stove, mix the glycerin and water together in a separate glass jar. Set aside for later.
Pour the melted ingredients from the stove into the stand mixer bowl, and put it in the freezer for about 5 minutes. You do not want this to freeze only cool down to room temperature. Once the oil mixture is cooled, it should look more opaque and have a thicker consistency.
Put the bowl on the stand mixer with the whisk attachment on medium speed. Very slowly drizzle in the water mixture, and increase the speed to medium-high.
Once the mixture looks like lotion, add in the cool-down phase ingredients and mix until well combined.
Shelf life: This lotion should last for several months as long as it's stored properly. Storage: Store in a cool, dry place away from direct light and heat. Only apply with clean, dry hands.