Two new additions to periodic table of elements:

Element name: WOMAN

Symbol: WO

Atomic weight: (don’t even go there)

Physical properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze at any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if mishandled.

Chemical properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Volatile when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a shinier specimen.

Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.

Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.

Element Name: MAN

Symbol: XY

Atomic Weight: (180+/-50)

Physical properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples.

Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with KD (Element: Child) for prolonged periods of time. Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.

Usage: None known. Possible good methane source. Good specimens are able to produce large quantities on command.

Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.

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1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing stinks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.

13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this — ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Darn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What’d you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

18. My 10-year old son asked me in the car the other day “Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?” How the heck do I respond to that?

19. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

20. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Bud Lites than Kay.

Have a healthy week!

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10 Parenting Laws

1. The later you stay up, the earlier your child will wake up the next morning.

2. For a child to become clean, something else must become dirty.

3. Toys multiply to fill any space available.

4. The longer it takes you to make a meal, the less your child will like it.

5. Yours is always the only child who doesn’t behave.

6. If the shoe fits…it’s expensive.

7. The surest way to get something done is to tell a child not to do it.

8. The gooier the food, the more likely it is to end up on the carpet.

9. Backing the car out fo the driveway causes your child to have to go to the bathroom.

10. The more challenging the child, the more rewarding it is to be a parent…sometimes.

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What’s going on Here?

After a muffled giggle, the young voice replied in a very low whisper, “They’re looking for me!”

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The true story of Santa Claus begins with Nicholas, who was born during the third century in the village of Patara. At the time the area was Greek and is now on the southern coast of Turkey. His wealthy parents, who raised him to be a devout Christian, died in an epidemic while Nicholas was still young. Obeying Jesus’ words to “sell what you own and give the money to the poor,” Nicholas used his whole inheritance to assist the needy, the sick, and the suffering. He dedicated his life to serving God and was made Bishop of Myra while still a young man. Bishop Nicholas became known throughout the land for his generosity to the those in need, his love for children, and his concern for sailors and ships.

Under the Roman Emperor Diocletian, who ruthlessly persecuted Christians, Bishop Nicholas suffered for his faith, was exiled and imprisoned. The prisons were so full of bishops, priests, and deacons, there was no room for the real criminals—murderers, thieves and robbers. After his release, Nicholas attended the Council of Nicaea in AD 325. He died December 6, AD 343 in Myra and was buried in his cathedral church, where a unique relic, called manna, formed in his grave. This liquid substance, said to have healing powers, fostered the growth of devotion to Nicholas. The anniversary of his death became a day of celebration, St. Nicholas Day.

Through the centuries many stories and legends have been told of St. Nicholas’ life and deeds. These accounts help us understand his extraordinary character and why he is so beloved and revered as protector and helper of those in need.

Today, the tradition of St. Nicholas is honored around the world on December 6th, the anniversary of his death. In the United States, the tradition is for children to leave out a shoe or hang a stocking on the evening of December 5th, so that St. Nicholas may visit and leave small gifts. In some places, St. Nicholas is the main gift giver, though in America, St. Nicholas has become Santa Clause, as the most common tradition.

Other traditions from around the world include:

In Austria a strange and frightening creature, Krampus, is usually with St. Nicholas. This devil figure, often in chains, is dressed in fur with a scary mask and a long red tongue. Krampus carries a wooden stick or switches to threaten children who misbehave or do not know their lessons. St. Nicholas never lets Krampus harm anyone. In some areas, though, hooligans dressed as Krampus do cause distressing havoc. When children promise to be good and study hard, St. Nicholas rewards them with a treat. He may come by himself or with angel helpers.

Austrian Christkindlmarkts open before St. Nicholas Day. There one finds delightful St. Nicholas delicacies—chocolates, marzipan, decorated cookies, even bread shaped like the good saint. The treats can be very small, just a single wrapped chocolate turned into a hand-made little Bishop Nicholas. Spiced speculatius cookies are shaped like the saint and Krampus. These are decorated with colored icing, fruit, and nuts. There are even prune-people of St. Nicholas and Krampus.

In Greece:

St. Nicholas, Nikolaos, is the patron saint of Greece, where his primary role is as the protector of sailors and seamen. At Christmas small fishing boats honor St. Nicholas, especially in the islands, with decorations of blue and white lights. Tradition has it that his clothes are soaked with brine, his beard always dripping with seawater, and his face covered with perspiration because he has been fighting storms to reach sinking ships and save men from drowning.

Greek ships carry an icon of St. Nicholas, as he is regarded as master of wind and tempest. Sailors light a candle before the icon, praying for safe passage. When a ship is in danger the captain prays making a solemn promise to bring a tamata, a Greek ex-voto, of a small ship of silver, gold, or carved of wood, if they make port safely. On return from such a voyage, the captain and sailors take the ex-voto, representing their ship, to church. In thanksgiving for their safety, they place it before a St. Nicholas icon. It is given as testimony to protection received, not as intercession for future aid.

Revered as the great protector, St. Nicholas’ feast is one of great devotion. The Greek Navy pays tribute to the patron saint of sailors with a special ceremony at the Hellenic Naval Academy.

Devotion to Saint Nicholas is also shown by the many small white chapels that dot the coastline. These chapels, dedicated to Satin Nicholas, have been built in gratitude to God for protection on the seas. As nearly every island family has members working in shipping, the navy, fishing or sponge diving, it is customary for folks passing one of these chapels to enter, light a candle, and pray for their friends’ and relatives’ protection from turbulent seas. Many families name a son “Nikolaos” in honor of the saint.

In Italy:

On St. Nicholas Eve in December, children in Molfetta, a city on the Adriatic Sea, put a plate on the table with a letter asking for gifts and promising to be good in the coming year. During the night, San Nicola fills most of the requests and piles the plates with chocolates, candies, and other good things. It is a magical night for children; the surprises make a joyous morning for everyone.

Some ideas for St. Nicholas day:

A simple St. Nicholas Day celebration adds a bit of welcome festivity in the early days of Advent. It provides an opportunity to tell the story of St. Nicholas, a man of faith whose goodness and generosity grew out of his love for God. It enriches our understanding of Santa Claus by showing the real historical person who inspired the familiar legend and traditions.

So tell a story of St. Nicholas’ generous example of giving in secret to those in need. Then encourage children to identify a kindly “Nicholas deed” to do for someone else. Have children fill their shoes with pieces of carrot or bits of hay for his white horse or donkey. Place shoes outside bedroom doors or on the hearth. See that a candy treat (a candy cane represents Bishop Nicholas’ crozier) and simple gift appears by morning on December 6th.

Have a party. The Dutch give simple gifts accompanied with elaborate riddles and/or wrapped in fantastically deceiving ways, such as a pen inside a hollowed out carrot or something small nested inside multiple boxes and wrappings.

St. Nicholas was known for his charity

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There are two lasting bequests we can give our children:One is roots.The other is wings.-Hodding Carter, Jr.

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Dr. Harper made these remarks at the 4th Annual International Conference on Vaccination, and, ironically,  while her address was meant to support the vaccine, participants left doubting the safety and effectiveness of the vaccine.

Dr. Harper began her remarks by explaining that 70 percent of all HPV infections resolve themselves without treatment within a year. Within two years, the number climbs to 90 percent. Of the remaining 10 percent of HPV infections, only half will develop into cervical cancer, which leaves little need for the vaccine.

Harper went on the say that the rate of cervical cancer from HPV is actually very low and that 70% of the US population would have to receive the vaccination before it would be effective at reducing the cancer rate, and even this, it would be a small reduction in the rate. With this small of an anticipated benefit, it brings the logic of the vaccine into question, as there have been a large number of reported side effects and even deaths from the vaccine. If the benefit is minimal and the risk of side effects higher than normal for a vaccine, is this something that we should be getting and giving to our daughters?

Apparently, conventional treatment and preventative measures are already cutting the cervical cancer rate by four percent a year. At this rate, in 60 years, there will be a 91.4 percent decline just with current treatment. Even if 70 percent of women get the shot and required boosters over the same time period, which is highly unlikely, Harper says Gardasil still could not claim to do as much as traditional care is already doing.

Dr. Harper, who also serves as a consultant to the World Health Organization, further undercut the case for mass vaccination by saying that “four out of five women with cervical cancer are in developing countries.”

Harper also announced that there are no studies showing the efficacy of this vaccine in girls under 15. She said that Merck tested the vaccine on a small number of girls under 15 but did not follow them long enough to test for the presence of the antibodies.

This is not the first time Dr. Harper revealed the fact that Merck never tested Gardasil for safety in young girls. During a 2007 interview with KPC News.com, she said giving the vaccine to girls as young as 11 years-old “is a great big public health experiment.”

At the time, which was at the height of Merck’s controversial drive to have the vaccine mandated in schools, Dr. Harper remained steadfastly opposed to the idea and said she had been trying for months to convince major television and print media about her concerns, “but no one will print it.”

“It is silly to mandate vaccination of 11 to 12 year old girls,” she said at the time. “There also is not enough evidence gathered on side effects to know that safety is not an issue.”

When asked why she was speaking out, she said: “I want to be able to sleep with myself when I go to bed at night.”

According the the article, over 15,000 girls have reported adverse side effects from the vaccine and deaths have also been reported.

These adverse reactions include Guilliane Barre, lupus, seizures, paralysis, blood clots, brain inflammation and many others. The CDC acknowledges that there have been 44 reported deaths.

The article also went on to say that:

The outspoken researcher also weighed in last month on a report published in the Journal of the American Medical Association that raised questions about the safety of the vaccine, saying bluntly: “The rate of serious adverse events is greater than the incidence rate of cervical cancer.”

Please read the whole article here. This is obviously a controversial issue, and one that I encourage you to research thoroughly before considering the vaccine for yourself or your daughter. I have some additional information on vaccine safety in my resources.

Have a healthy week!

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